Hinata, Queen of the Whole World!
by Tonic the Hedgehog
Summary: The ridiculously interesting story of a shy Hyuuga's sudden acsension into abosolute power! What will she do when no one in the entire world can question her judgment?


None of these characters are my creation. They are Kishimoto's work... but I sure do plan on having fun with them:D

So... here's my very first attempt at a completely comedic fic! Hopefully I don't suck at it! But if I do, I would appreciate it if you were honest about it in your reviews.

This fic is rated T for language and some crude and tasteless sexual gags that will be abundant. I may even have to change it to an M rating in later chapters... but, probably not.

Though this will be a comedy of the most random and out-there sort, all your favorite shinobi's will still be in-character for the most part. Sure they will definitely say and do things that they probably would not say and do in the manga/anime (after all, comedy), but it will not be to ridiculous extremes. Most Naruto comedies I have read have sucked because authors figure that, because its meant to be funny, they can make Naruto and the gang act like mentally challenged monkeys. With that sort of reasoning, the fic usually turns out stupid instead of being genuinely funny. I am hoping that I will not follow in their footsteps.

Well... enjoy!

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The aged and tired Hyuuga elders scurried quickly, but gently, into the large meeting room. The sun was shining brightly in the afternoon sky just outside the windows of the room. It was quite the beautiful day, and the elders all grumbled in their minds about how it would be wasted on yet another annoying weekly business meeting. It was basically a bunch of briefings on the clans current affairs, politics, and such. Boring as shit. Still, they made sure to keep their murmurings internal, as they were determined not to disrespect Hiashi Hyuuga when he knelt just at the head of the long table before them. The head of the clan could easily see their lips move if they whispered.

"Welcome, all of you, to the business meeting!" Hiashi spoke enthusiastically into the dead silence of the room. "Please take your seats!"

The elders bowed their heads in slight confusion. Hiashi sure seemed much more lively then he usually did. And he had this really stupid grin across his lips... an ugly grin that cracked the wrinkles that came from generally walking around with a constant poker face. But, they quickly let their curiosity slip from their minds as they made their way around the table and knelt down on the mat beneath them.

The moment they took their seats, the two daughters of Hiashi began to serve the elders cups of tea from the trays in their hands. They raised an eyebrow to their father's suspicious cheerfulness as well.

After emptying her particular tray of all its tea cups, the first born of Hiashi nervously made her way to her father's side. She humbly sat on her knees so she could speak in his ear. Her cheeks were red with strawberry-blush as she whispered to him.

"F-father.. I was wondering if it were alright if...well, you see, a-a few of my friends were going out soon, and they wanted me to-"

"OF COURSE you can go!"

Hinata almost fell backward as she jumped to her feet from her father's empathic cry. All the elders watched the display with wads of sweat rolling down their necks.

"R-really?!" She responded aloud. "But I'll m-miss the meeting!"

"You've been coming to these hum-drum meetings for too long, my child. Go out into that sun and have some fun!"

A question mark formed over the young heiresses's head.

"..I-is this a test, father? Are you trying to see if my loyalties to my friends are above those to my clan??... A-am I being 'punked'??"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!"

Every eye in the room went wide with shock. Hiashi... laughed?!?!

"Nonsense, Hinata! I just want you to take a break for today. You have been faithfully practicing your technique and studying the clans manuscripts for so long now, that you are entitled to enjoy yourself."

Hiashi placed a hand on his daughters shoulder as he smiled at her warmly. Hinata, naturally, flinched when her father's hand reached out to her.. But she eventually cracked a smile herself.

"In fact... Hanabi." Hiashi turned to the side to speak to his youngest daughter. "You may also leave the meeting if you wish!"

It was now Hanabi's turn to be shocked.

"...O-okay!!" The little 10-year old Hyuuga had dollar signs in both of her orb-like eyes. "Can I have some money too?!?"

"Sure!!!" Hiashi reached into his kimono and handed her a fat wad of ryo. "Now both of you get going and let us old farts get this meeting under way!"

"**Thank you, Father!" **They responded at the same time.

As the two made their way further from the group of aged Hyuuga, Hanabi leaned close to Hinata and began to whisper.

"... Daddy is losing his mind... Its SO cool!" She thumbed through the wad of ryo.

"Oh dear... I- hope he will be alright..." Hinata spoke with a sweat drop running down her back.

Hiashi watched his two daughters close the sliding door behind them...

Silence.

Silence.

A bird chirped outside the window...

More silence.

He looked over all the stunned faces of the Hyuuga elders before smiling and bringing his cup of tea to his lips. The Hyuuga elders slowly took a sip of their drink as well. Hiashi put his cup down before them and let out a satisfied sigh.

"... Yeah, so anyway, I decided we are going to take over the world."

The table was soon covered in sprays of brown liquid as the elders spit out their tea at the same time. One Hyuuga who was apparently late for the meeting opened the door, ran to his spot on the mat, took a sip of his tea, and spit it out as well.

"I'll have some of my servants bring you gentlemen another cup of tea right away!"

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This was just the very short intro. I promise you, things are going to get much crazier from this point on! Please give me your impressions so far!


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